Weekend recap

Does purple seem like a tired color to you? I'm really tired from playing rock band for over 6 hours!!!!! I mean.. who does that? Anyway, I went to the beach today. It was so much fun. I body surfed for the first time, had a great time in Huntington, and ended it all with rock band. I can still taste the salt that is lodged deep inside my nasal cavity, but it's a good kind of feeling. We got an RA called on us. Some jerk didn't have the balls to walk over to us and simple ask, " hey you guys are being really loud.. can you guys keep it down for me please," and bam, quite. I'm glad the first floor use to be a separate dorm; We don't hear any noise from up stairs at all. I hung out with Janele and her boyfriend on Saturday. I had lots of fun. I like him. Justin doesn't though. I really don't know why, he is likable, a little quite, but can make interesting conversation. Sunday I went to Torrence to reskin the broken drum heads. It was so much fun. My generation and I talked about maybe potentially moving in together and having a 16th gen house. I think that was be so great. It would also be cheap because there are 7 of us who are the same age. Plus we WOULD be able to afford an actually house, so that would be really cool too. So I know exactly how strong the drum heads actually are. One of them can support my weight. I had to stand on one for the heads to help stretch it out. Apparently the more stretched out the better the tone quality or something.

The new song we are learning, Inspiration, is really cool. I like it so much, plus I'm playing downs for that song. I mean, less Kata, but I think downs look cooler anyway. I asked what Inspiration was based on and Geoff told me cartoons. Only then did I recognize all the themes within the song. It's a really fun/ cool piece and look forward to performing it at spring concert/Invitationals/CN.

Should I stay or should I go.. sigh...

Shades of Green

Fate. Another four letter word with a huge meaning. Do we really control our lives or is it all planed out already. Do all roads we take end in one absolute destination, with already planned out lessons. The saying does go "all roads lead to Rome". Can we go against it? Yea, we can but I feel that it doesn't matter; it comes down to two general questions: do you want to do the the easy way, or the hard way? If someone really is suppose to be in your life you'll meet them right? I've met so many people and I've learned we are all connected. It's actually kind scary. We all went to the same places, we just didn't know each yet. It's almost as if our lives were meant to collide. Lives collide and in a single moment your lives are intertwined, but all things come with its respective opposite counterpart. Lives not only collide into one another but they also deviate from one another. Are we suppose to let this happen? Do we cling on as long as we can? Someone once said, " Once it's done, it's over. Thats why were are suppose to cherish and enjoy every moment you had when you were with them". I've been waiting for this moment because I knew it was going to be inevitable. It was bound to happen. I didn't want it to. I've voiced my concern time and time again. I didn't want to lose someone else in my life. Now, it is happening, and what am I to do? I'm, as always, indifferent as to what I want. I adored and cherished everything that happened. I'm also sick of putting up with feeling unloved. I know we all express our affection differently. I also know people like to justify everything they do. Why? I guess to avoid guilt, because it's better to feel it was someone else's fault other than their own. I see the problems. I know all I have to do it put myself out there and just say, "whats up?". Instead I'm waiting for someone else to do so. Why? I want to see if they care enough to stop what is happening, or just let it fall to pieces through silence. It hurts because I adored and cared a lot, but this only makes me believe that it was a one way street. Prove me wrong. I really want you to, but I'm not going to give you the chance. I'm going to take the first leap. I'm done waiting. I'm done sitting. Everyone says I should just let it end. That it's not good for me. I tend to have these relationships. It sucks. So I'm done. I don't want these moments of confidence to be in short spurts like they are now. I'm going to live it up. Fail. Get rejected. Put myself out there. I think the rewards would be worth it more than if they fall in my lap.